Dear Mr. Donald Sexton,
I am so sorry to bother you postmortem, but I feel that there is something you should know:

Not only did you fail to kill your wife Tammy, but you made her famous. Really famous.
You must be thinking, "Oh, no! Did I miss?"
No, your shot was good. And this my friend will make her famous.
"No, it's not possible!" you bluster.
Alas, but it is. In fact, a similar case occurred in 1848 with a railroad foreman named Phinneas Gage. May I tell you the story?

Gage was working for Rutland and Burlington Railroad in Vermont. His crew was responsible for preparing the roadbed by blasting rock that was in the way. On September 13th, Gage was packing a hole with gunpowder,  The powder had been packed without the requisite sand and when Gage brought down his large tamping iron into the hole, gunpowder exploded and the tamping iron was blasted straight through Gage's left cheek and out the top of his skull.

Gage not only survived this wound, but within a few minutes of the injury he regained consciousness and made the 3/4-mile ride back into town.

Recent analyses of his skull show that the spike severely damaged his anterior frontal cortex (there is debate as to both sides, or only the left was destroyed). which in turn caused drastic personality changes. Where Gage was once gentile, patient and hard working, he became impulsive and obstinate, and developed a violent temper. For the rest of his life, he insisted on carrying the fateful spike with him wherever ever he went.

The case of Phinneas Gage was famous with in the man's own lifetime and over 150 years later. .. which leads me to believe that your wife will experience the same type of fame. (Maybe more given in the improved technology there is to study her brain and the effects of the damage.)

Cheers!
Laura

Dear world,
I might just have to slap the next person who says "global warming." No, seriously. It's called global climate change.

"Oh, same difference," you say.
Then I punch you in the face.

Let me break it down:
Yes, on average, global surface temperatures are rising. For the past 50 years surface temperatures have been rising about 0.13°C per decade. This is not the whole story, however:

1) Some surface areas are cooling.
There are areas of the world, including parts of the southeastern U.S. and parts of the North Atlantic, that have been cooling over the last century. (The cooling has been slight and there are far more areas experiencing increasing temperatures, leading a global average of increasing temperatures.)

2) The stratosphere is cooling.
The whole atmosphere is affected by the greenhouse effect, not just the surface.
Let's quickly review our earth sciences here:
The Earth's atmosphere is the layer of gases surrounding the planet that is retained by the Earth's gravity. It is composed of four layers:
        1) The troposphere (from Earth's surface --> 5 to 9 miles)
        2) The stratosphere (from troposphere --> 31 miles)
        3) The mesosphere (from stratosphere --> 53 miles)
        4) The thermosphere (from mesosphere --> 372 miles)
The surface temperatures and those of the troposphere have been rising. In the stratosphere, however, temperatures are falling. (Learn more here.)

Thus, calling it "global warming" is inaccurate. So please don't.

Love,
Laura

Dear Lily Allen -
Let me premise this letter by saying that I love your music.

But what the hell were you thinking when you decided to wear this boob tube? (Translation: British for "tube top")

Now I am against boob tubes in general. (Why? Let me explain.) But they are even worse when they don't fit. You had to pull the top up every five seconds just so you don't flash the entire crowd! Okay, so you wanted to wear a tube top. Have an extra hook and eye added at the top back. Or just get one that fits.

Love,
Laura

P.S. - If you need a wardrobe consultant, I'm available.

Dear Greenies -
I am all about the environment. I love trees. I recycle religiously. I want to reduce my carbon footprint. But I'm running into a little trouble...
One good way of reducing one's carbon footprint is living a "walkable life." In other words, living in an area where I could walk (or bike) to work, the grocery store, library, etc, etc.

Here's the problem: It narrows your world. Remember that day when you just didn't leave your house? Maybe for a couple of days in a row?  Slowly, "the outside" becomes less and less pertinent to your life. Not that you stop caring, but issues can't break into your bubble enough to REALLY fire you up.

Living in walkable bubbles shrinks the world and the power of its issues.
Maybe its a human mentality problem more than a "walkable life problem." Its easy for people not to care about what doesn't directly affect them, what they don't see, feel, hear or experience. In order to care, people need context. They need to feel the potholes in the road to care about maintaining streets. They need to see the starving polar bear to care about global climate change. (See: The Planet Earth, Episode "Ice Worlds," Clip 1, Clip 2.)
 
So what do we do?

Love,
Laura

Dear sports and animals fans -
If you don’t know who Dubs is, you should.  For starters, watch this video:

Next, you should visit his personal blog.  Don’t you just want to take him home?

Love,
Laura